When Anxiety Runs the Show — and How to Take Back the Lead

Living With Anxiety: My Story

For years, anxiety quietly ruled my life. On the surface, I appeared calm, capable, and composed — the person who always had it together. But beneath that image was a constant hum of worry. My mind raced through what-ifs, my chest stayed tight, and my body felt like it was always preparing for impact.

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Even small tasks — making a phone call, writing an email, walking into a meeting — could feel monumental. Every decision seemed high-stakes, and no amount of reassurance was ever enough. I was exhausted, but I didn’t know how to stop. Anxiety had become my normal, and I couldn’t remember what peace felt like.

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One evening, I sat at my desk staring at an email draft I couldn’t bring myself to send. Every sentence felt risky; every click felt dangerous. My heart raced, my shoulders tensed, and I froze — trapped between the fear of making a mistake and the fear of doing nothing at all. That night, I realized anxiety wasn’t just a feeling anymore — it had taken the lead. It was calling the shots, keeping me safe in theory but disconnected in practice.

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Story from the Therapy Room

One client once told me, “It’s like there’s an alarm inside me that never shuts off. Even when things are fine, I can’t relax — I’m waiting for something bad to happen.”

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They were capable, thoughtful, and deeply driven — the kind of person who always seemed composed on the outside. But under that calm exterior was constant tension. Every decision felt like a test: an email that might be misread, a comment that might upset someone, a mistake that might confirm their deepest fear — I’m not enough.

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They came to therapy exhausted from trying to outthink anxiety. Their body never rested; their mind never stopped scanning for danger. As they described it, “I’ve spent so long preparing for the worst that I don’t knowhow to feel safe anymore.”

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I’ve heard versions of this story many times — and in truth, I’ve known that feeling, too. Anxiety doesn’t always shout. Sometimes it hums quietly beneath everything, convincing us that vigilance equals control.

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Understanding Anxiety

Anxiety isn’t the enemy — it’s a signal. It’s your body’s way of saying, “Something doesn’t feel safe.” For many, that system learned early on that staying alert was the only way to avoid pain, rejection, or disappointment.

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At first, anxiety protects us — keeping us prepared and careful. But overtime, it starts to run the show. What once kept us safe begins to keep us small.

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When we start to see anxiety not as a flaw but as a form of protection, something powerful shifts. The question becomes less, “How do I get rid of this?” and more, “What is this part of me trying to tell me?”

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That reframe is where healing begins — not in silencing the anxious parts, but in understanding them.

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The Turning Point: Taking Back Control

Therapy offers a space to slow down the noise and gently explore what’s underneath the anxiety. It’s not just about learning to cope — it’s about building trust with yourself again.

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With this client, we began by paying attention to small signals: the shallow breath, the tight shoulders, the clenching in her chest whenever she feared disapproval. Through trauma-informed approaches like EMDR, Parts Work therapy, CBT, and mindfulness, she began to trace those reactions back to earlier experiences — moments where staying alert had truly been necessary.

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During one session, she paused and said softly, “I think my anxiety’s been trying to protect me all along — it just didn’t know I was safe now.” That moment changed everything.

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As EMDR helped her release old memories and Parts Work gave voice to her anxious inner parts, she began to feel more integrated. CBT helped her challenge the thought, “If I make a mistake, I’ll lose everything,” and mindfulness helped her reconnect with her breath — the simple reminder that she was here, now, and okay.

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Over time, the alarm inside her quieted. Not because anxiety disappeared, but because it didn’t have to shout anymore. One day she said, “It feels different now. The anxiety’s still there sometimes, but it doesn’t run my life. I can actually hear myself beneath it.”

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That’s the heart of healing anxiety — learning to meet it with compassion instead of control. Peace doesn’t come from pushing anxiety away; it comes from building a relationship with it, one rooted in curiosity, understanding, and safety.

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The Benefits of Therapy for Anxiety

When you begin to understand and heal anxiety at its roots, its grip naturally begins to loosen. Clients often describe feeling lighter, calmer, and more confident. They start to notice the spaces between anxious thoughts —moments of peace that once felt impossible. They move through their days with greater self-assurance, more patience, and deeper connection to the people around them.

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The once constant loop of overthinking and self-doubt quiets, replaced by a growing sense of trust — in themselves, in others, and in life’s uncertainty. They no longer have to measure every word or plan every detail; they can simply be present.

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Anxiety doesn’t define you. It’s a signal — one that, when understood, can lead you back to yourself.

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Take the First Step — Schedule a Free15-Minute Consultation

If anxiety has been running the show, it’s time to take back the lead. You don’t have to manage it all alone. The first step isn’t about “fixing” anything— it’s about understanding yourself in a new way and finding relief that lasts.

Schedule a free 15-minute consultation to explore how therapy can help you regain focus, calm, and self-trust.

With anxiety therapy in Richmond or across the state of Virginia—including EMDR therapy, Parts Work, or trauma-informed care — you can begin to feel steady, centered, and at home within yourself again.